The finest collection of short, funny and corny jokes with a Jewish theme.
Hebrew: בדיחות קצרות ומצחיקת
For when you need those laughs to come fast. Enjoy a giggle with us.
Feel free to add a joke in the Comment Box below. All submissions are moderated.
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Q. Which servant of G-d was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Did you know it’s wrong for a woman to make coffee? Yup, it’s in the Bible. It says . . .
Q: Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
A: When God gave Moses two tablets.
Q: What do you call cheese that is sad?
A: Blue cheese.
Q. Which hotel serves the best cheese?
A: The Stilton
Q: Why does cheese look sane?
A: Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
Q. What does a cheese say on Shavuot?
A: Have E dam good day!
Q. What type of cheese is made backwards?
After Shavuot we all need to go diet. Why? To cheddar a few pounds.
There is a well known Midrash about how God offered the Law to a number of nations, which all refused it, before He offered it to the Jews. What isn't known very well is the inside story.
God first went to the Egyptians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
"What's a commandment?" they asked.
"Well, one of them goes, 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,'" replied God.
The Egyptians thought about it and then said, "No way, that would ruin our weekends."
So then God went to the Assyrians and asked them if they would like a commandment.
They also asked, "What's a commandment?"
"Well," said God, "one says, 'Thou shalt not steal.'"
The Assyrians immediately replied, "No way. That would ruin our economy."
So finally God went to the Jews and asked them if they wanted a commandment.
They asked, "How much?"
God said, "They're free."
The Jews said, "Great! We'll take ten."
Last Shavuot Giggle
While attending a public dinner, a Rabbi was seated next to a prominent woman. Apparently attempting to impress the rabbi, the woman mentioned that one of her ancestors was present at the signing of Israel's Declaration of Independence.
The Rabbi quickly responded, "My ancestors witnessed the giving of the Ten Commandments."